Manufacturer: Jakks Pacific

Wired Rating: 6

Sometimes engineers win by not trying too hard.

This kids’ toy is more effective than some products costing many times
more. (We’re looking at you, StealthView.) Of course, it’s not true
night vision — like the camcorder modes you’ve seen in Paris Hilton videos
(don’t front), an IR lamp bathes objects in light that its sensor can
“see” in the dark. While true night vision will actively amplify ambient
light, this essentially acts as a flashlight that works without visible
light. Sure, it shows you what’s out there in the dark, but you aren’t
really seeing what’s out there; you’re viewing a video of what’s out
there.

The upside is that because it doesn’t rely on light amplification, it
works in total darkness. The EyeClops also allows you to swap back and
forth between two modes: one shows a monochrome image, the other adds a
more soothing green glow that will help prevent night blindness. A focus
ring helps provide some clarity, but don’t expect 1080p quality here,
it’s more akin to grainy security cam footage.

And as you might imagine, it’s ridiculously easy to use. One of our
“testers,” a 4-year-old boy, was able to suss out all the goggles
settings and was playing in the dark within less than a minute. Range is
limited to about 50 feet, so it isn’t your best choice when firearms are
involved. But for recreational stakeouts, this toy was aces.

WIRED Less expensive than a night on the town. Two-setting IR lamp can
light up the world or just add a detail-goosing glow.

TIRED Narrow range of vision; if it’s not right in front of you, you’ll
never see it before it attacks. Pixelated images are too blurry for
serious surveillance.

Manufacturer: Knox

Wired Rating: 0

You can’t help it. It’s a reflex. You stick out your hand when you fall — it’s better to stop the descent with your palm than your face, right? That’s fine when you’re ambling down the street, but add an extra 80 mph and the weight of a motorcycle to the momentum equation and the bones in your paw might not take the strain very well. They could shift, buckle — even snap. What you need is an exoskeleton. If you know Tony Stark, you might be able to get something custom. For the rest of us, there’s the Knox Handroid, a Kevlar-, kangaroo-hide-, and, yes, exoskeleton-reinforced motorcycle gauntlet. Thermoplastic urethane spines run down the outside of each finger and flex with your digits. To keep the armor in place, a ratchet system cinches 19 strands of stainless steel wire, spreading the pressure across your entire forearm. Then, when the pavement tries to persuade your bones to move beyond their comfort zone, the Handroid answers no. That’s the reflex you’re looking for.

Manufacturer: Bushnell

Wired Rating: 3

We were excited to try out the StealthView, which uses a CMOS sensor
instead of a light-intensifier tube and projects the image on a
miniature internal screen.

Sadly, we found it to be an overpriced disappointment.

First, the good. This Russian-made monocular is quite small at 4 x 2.5 x
7 inches, and was the most portable of the bunch. A bottom-side mount
will let you fix it onto a tripod or viewing stand for prolonged night
time spy sessions. The 5x power magnification was the best of the bunch,
letting you see (in theory at least) quite far away. And of course
because it sports an IR lamp, it doesn’t require ambient light and will
work in complete darkness.

But all of that was more than outweighed by the bad. As for that 5x
power, Spaghetti Monster forbid you need to actually change
magnification powers. We found changing focus on anything to be a
massive chore, and our few successes seemed almost accidental. Even when
in focus, however, it felt like peering through a keyhole, with a
viewing area so small that it was practically useless.

Finally, although the monocular has a dimmer, we found that even on the
low settings the black and white image was too bright, leaving us night
blind and stumbling when we stopped looking through the viewfinder. All
told, you’d be stealthier with a spotlight and a tuba.

WIRED 5X magnification. Fits easily into a jacket pocket. A video-out
port lets you jack into a monitor — a good choice given how bad the
built-in screen is.

TIRED Some 2-year-olds are easier to get focused. Mushy, distorted image
reminded us of peering through Jell-O. Did little to help us navigate
the night.

Manufacturer: ATN

Wired Rating: 6

Thanks to its compact, comfortable design, the Cougar is as cuddly as a
kitten.

The optics are excellent too — objects popped out of the dark like
monsters on a carnival ride. Like the LN-PB3 from Luna, these use a
combination of first generation night vision tech and an IR bulb. Light
passes into a tube, where photons are converted to electrons, amplified,
and then re-converted into green-hued visible light. The light gathering
was excellent, allowing us to see well in near-total darkness outdoors.
Meanwhile, in the pitch black of our basement, the IR illuminator was
the best of the bunch, painting distant objects in a revealing glow.

We also appreciated the peripheral vision these goggles afforded. While
it was far from a true view of the horizon, the Night Cougar’s didn’t
leave us feeling boxed in and peering through a tunnel either. While
there was some blurring around the edges (also known as geometric
distortion, a commonplace attribute of first-gen night vision) it was
barely noticeable, and we preferred these overall for scanning
side-to-side.

While the fixed zoom means you won’t be reeling in faraway
views, because there’s no need to adjust from longshots to closeups,
these were easiest to use to monitor objects at varying distances. They do,
however, offer adjustments to let you get a crisp picture — smooth
focusing rings with individual adjustments for each eyepiece made
adjusting to our misfit vision a snap.

Finally, we adored the headgear mount that attaches to the peepers for
hands-free use. It allows you to keep the Cougars in place in front of
your eyes, or flip them up 90 degrees and out of the way if you need to
creep about. Not only does it give you a break from gripping the night
vision specs to your mug, it also lets you stay on the move while
holding stuff — like an AK-47. Or that kitten.

WIRED Exceptionally bright. Super lightweight — a mere 10 ounces.
Wide-angle vision great for spotting flank attacks.

TIRED So much for covert ops: IR light announces your presence like a
butler. Sorry, snipers, no zoom.

Manufacturer: Roundup:

Wired Rating: 0

Sure, you don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.
But a personal weather station can tell you much more. These models
track wind, rain, temperature, humidity, air pressure, and more —
and pipe all that data right to your desktop.

1. Honeywell TE923W

This superb station has the most sensors, friendliest software, and
comeliest countenance of the bunch, and it presents the data in a format
that helps you make sense of it all. Rather than just giving a UV index,
for example, a smiley face shows when it’s safe to head out sans
sunscreen. Simply put, it’s as chummy and delectable as Willard Scott
dipped in butter.

WIRED Exceptional value. Lets users fine-tune
latitude and longitude. Backlight automatically adjusts to ambient light
level. Animated 24-hour pressure-trend graph. Syncs with the atomic
clock. Anemometer senses changes in the wind better than a Southern
politician.

TIRED Unshielded temperature gauge
runs high on sunny days. Setup involves more precision screwing than the
fine print in a cell phone contract.

$300, honeywellweatherstations.com

2. Davis Vantage Pro2 With WeatherLinkIP

A true farmer’s friend, the Vantage Pro2 was the best in our test at
actually measuring and predicting the weather. It was exceptionally
sensitive to fluctuations in wind and precipitation, picking up on as
little as 0.01 inch of rainfall. With its bevy of buttons, the console
lets you create dynamic custom graphs and more than 30 different alarms,
as well as drill ever deeper into meteorological porn. But there are
drawbacks: While installation is straightforward, neither console nor
software is particularly simple to operate.

WIRED Uploads data to Internet right out of the box.
Solar-powered sensors and transmitter.

TIRED
Aesthetic appeal of a concrete block. Might be cheaper to hire Al
Roker.

$760, davisnet.com

3. Oregon Scientific WMR200A

The Sarah Palin of weather stations: It makes a great first impression
but proves flaky on further acquaintance. Oh sure, the 14 data points on
the well-dressed console make for easy forecasting, but it claimed to be
monitoring a multiday rainstorm during a low-pressure heat wave and
displayed a sunny icon on an overcast day. And the included Weather
Display program is crippleware; you have to shell out an additional $70
for the full version if you want to upload your data to sites like
Weather Underground.

WIRED Sensor installation
is a breeze. Solar cells extend the life of the batteries. Touchscreen
easier to operate than a can of beer.

TIRED
Doesn’t care about or adjust for latitude and longitude. Sensors have
the communication skills of a sullen teenager.

$400, oregonscientific.com

4. La Crosse Technology WS-2316

The WS-2316 totally rained on our picnic. The viewing angle on the
display is frustratingly narrow, and basic metrics like windchill and
temperature are buried in different menus. Getting the included
serial-to-USB adapter to work properly required reconfiguring ports on
our computer. (Shame on you, La Crosse — USB has been the de facto
standard for more than a decade.) All told, this station sucks like a
tornado in a trailer park.

WIRED Easy outdoor
setup. Highly sensitive rain gauge. Batteries
included.

TIRED No UV sensor available. Displays
only nine data points at once, two of which are time and date. Horrible
software offers no Internet functionality. Flimsy wind sensor is about
as accurate as The Onion.

$280, lacrossetechnology.com